Writing - Opening Lines

By Kathy (Kat) W

I try to learn from the authors I read. While struggling with the opening to my novel, I pulled about a dozen books off the shelf and read the first page or two of each, focusing on how the sentences and paragraphs were constructed as well as the information imparted. I've read all of these books more than once and so could recognize how ideas presented were developed later. The process helped me finally get a beginning for my story.

Here are some examples of opening lines I like:

HORSES AT DAWN

"The buckskin horse walked up Allen Street just before dawn." Territory, by Emma Bull. The narrator doesn't interpret anything in this sentence. The lack of opinionated adjectives or adverbs enhances the sense that *you* are seeing this horse, and "just before dawn" there probably aren't many other people to see it. (The cover lets you know this is a Western, so the fact of a horse walking up the street isn't remarkable in itself.)

"The first rays of the sun silhouetted Rifkind as she sat her war-horse and gazed on the ruin of her clan." Daughter of the Bright Moon, by Lynn Abbey. Unlike Bull's very tightly focused sentence, this gives a panoramic view. The camera/narrator is viewing the scene from an angle where Rifkind is silhouetted, and pans to what she sees. "Ruins of her clan" is interpretive, not a literal description, and it immediately presents a problem!

SIMPLE BUT ELEGANT

"The little boy was frightened." Dream Snake, by Vonda N. McIntyre. We are pulled toward his POV; we don't know if we would be scared in the same situation. And it engages us through our natural desire to protect a child.

"Katie saw him first." "Cryptic Coloration," by Elizabeth Bear. This short story also opens in the middle of things without setting a scene. We're with Katie, who is probably not alone as she was "first." We have yet to discover who was seen.

INTRICATE

"They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man's mind wonderfully; unfortunately, what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that, in the morning, it will be in a body that is going to be hanged." Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett. This immediately introduces us to a strong, story telling narrative voice, not an invisible omniscient narrator. The sentence feels balanced; the second half almost restates the first half but with an added twist. It's funny; and we know that someone is in trouble.

"Matthew the Magician leaned against a wrought iron lamppost on Forty-second Street, idly picking at the edges of his ten iron rings and listening to his city breathe into the warm September night." Blood and Iron, by Elizabeth Bear. I love this sentence for its density, for the volume of information presented along with the image. The identification of Matthew as "the Magician" makes this a fairy tale beginning. The juxtaposition of 42nd Street and the iron rings sets up a contrast between two worlds. And Matthew idly picking at those rings in "his city" shows he's comfortable in both.

Do you agree with my assessment of these openings? Please share some opening lines from works you admire and let us know why you like them.